1. |
Trixie
02:38
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I had to tell her thanks
She just wanted one conversation
I don't blame her stopping, shit is complicated
Honest neighbors don't open their mouths unless they got to say their contemplations
Homies know I'm not to fake, I had to tell her
"I'm okay but not okay", thoughts of you but not today
And that makes me feel like shit, but that's okay
Nightmares of decisions keep the road paved, timely nough
I've been up with writtens bout the cold days, sighing much
Trying not to give in to the old ways,
Sitting on my dome, while i'm looking for who gon' relate
Niggas think they know me, been assuming everything
So they think i don't change, but it's usually every day
I'm on another whole plane, No wonder i always got a growing taste
Anyone conservative, find it hard when the game change
We may see or be god, prepare for anything
I swear to god, niggas so scared of any change
That they can't see, dough ain't the goal, it's a gateway
You looking at yourself enough, you see we make pain
Living with depression makes me realize my fate's made
I can't change how i feel, why rather fake
That's just a shitty way to bottle things and stagnate
So i don't try to make life appeal to my mind
If i gotta say bye and die, then that's life
Shit may go right, if so you can call me
But i just hope you learn new tricks
get it, friend
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2. |
||||
Aye
I got a phone call, another body
Follow protocol, grab the shotty
I got a phone call, another body
Follow protocol, get a shotty
I got a phone call
I got a phone call, I coulda guessed it
Buffalo soldier, I'm smoking good
I'm smoking doja, aye
I guess we wait until it's over
I guess the people aren't equal if we sober
So roll it up, set my heart back
Follow where my heart leads
Back to the art like Basquiat
Paint the picture, show my mother I am not my pops
Show my brother I am not the opp
Everything falls into place when you know your place
You eating food? Nigga, say your grace
Float above and beyond what they have to say
Boast a lot but be the pond and not the lake
Heroes die, I ain't ever seen one make it
All my idols really dead, makes me frustrated
I ain't even praying, I be laying in my bed while the walls cave in
I got a phone call, another body
Follow protocol, grab the shotty
I got a phone call, another body
Follow protocol, get a shotty
I got a phone call
We were just smoking
We smoking herb
We smoke electric
Bodies on the curb and the white man elected
Give a pig a bird, that's the word, fuck a sentence
That's the word, fuck Donald Trump again, nigga, I coulda guessed it
More gifts than there's curses this year, i think
Keeping track been more impertinent to kid
Good thing i learned i make my purpose in this bitch
Life could be fake, I'm under surface when i can be
Gotta love my fate, i could perish in my damn sleep
If my niggas can't stay, they're cherished on my main street
Brodie, all my art solidifies my fam's dreams
'Cause that's all i can keep, plus the memories
Don't be like "soly ain't ready for a man's beef"
Mainly skin and bone, but at your dome, if your hands seen
I've been practicing stoic, walking toe-tipped half the
Focus so i always think of days i can't be antsy
I know the phrase, i really dance like they can't see
Pain's never my motive, a nigga needs to plan for peace
I've been hopeless, as much as i've been the anti
Can't freeze to scope it, i might fall if i'm just standing
yes i'm always on the go that's just protocol
writing hooks off the cuff so the song's resolved
another body outside the local mall while
the people inside are on the slowest walk, it's kinda sad
Don't expect...
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3. |
Cursed
03:08
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This week wasn't the worst, I've been defeated in worse ways
Mind on my purpose, but my feet in the dirt
Tryna walk the sunny surface, til they bleed and they hurt i guess
To deal with the stress, i had to weaken it first
Girls think that I'm the best until they peak at my curse
World will truly give me credit when i'm sleep in a hearse
Since a youngin thought of death as simply leaving the earth and vice versa
But the pain makes it seem so much more
Some stuck cheating the game, looking weak and absurd
But in my brain, showing feelings help you seek the reward
I'm only saying we don't need the decor
Thought this'd be gradual, adulthood's looking deep at the shore
But it don't matter, growing up just means more teeth on the floor
Disregard cavities the past of me has sweets i deserve
I hope mom sees that i try to not have peace tossed aside but i can read all their lies
I know i'm always telling truth, it's just an easier life
See, some ain't used to it, assuming i'mma treat em like society
I been wrestling with depression and it's beating my sobriety
At least i know i never need a high inside of me to meet up with the light
Not like i can try to see it when i die, and that's a fact carried beside of me
Sometimes i give a bleak vibe, i tell you please don't hide from me
Kept a select few beside, guess i'm not leaving quietly
Sometimes i give a bleak vibe, i tell you please don't hide from me
Kept a select few beside, guess i'm not leaving quietly
What if this just how it goes now?
These niggas overproud, can't cohere my holy powers
I try to hold it down, improvised like Ryan Stiles
My past is really trash, so i had to throw it out
I'm the only lad who pumps my gas since i got older
Haters shit on everything i have, i'll just hold my mouth
In love with art, no cap, I'm a pop culture child
Golden flower blossoming at the top of a snowy mountain
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4. |
Stardust
02:17
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From dust to dust, the more i see love as trust
The more i wanna go back home
I still dunno why some hope to see me after dawn
I rarely turn out to show up
At least that's showing love, but who really knows the struggle?
They see the craft in the hallway,
It's attractive but don't all stay
They back up, like all state
So i clearly saw who's afraid
The sweeter ones drink the lemonade
And we won't argue for fame, see our value all day
I keep the circle close but not closed
Rarely in the mood for literal but attitude is not clothed
Sometimes I think I'm Stockholmed, and hate how i love the globe
And wish i really had the bucks to show the one i know
Weed all gone, should i cop another sack?
Studio home, made this track before a nap
I'm usually unknown, we only chatted for a snap
Then i left you to the globe, I had to double back
Get used to the sound, bitch
'Cause what if the inevitable happened right now?
Y'all was never at the house, whenever the lights were out
It's incredible, I see how much i let em slide, wow
Feels funny like I hit my elbow's inner side, loud
I'm real money like that bullshit parents fight about
Across the board, I see my indifference makes a big difference
Started in the world from small decisions to large wishes
And opps could judge me on a lost image, so fuck all opinions
I'm done tryna impress niggas since they're all beginners
To my way of living, hop the train or stop tripping
I like to watch the rain, don't use the pain for drip
I cannot complain about things, I got myself in most this shit
I could cop another sack
Studio home, made this track before a nap
I'm usually unknown, we prolly chatted for a snap
Then i left you to the stardust, I had to double back
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5. |
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We about bein out, seein’ clouds
If you vibe, be around, we around, so be around
We about bein’ out, meetin’ pals
If you vibe, be around, we around so be around
Thank you, thank you, think you’re far too kind, it’s hard to reach sometimes
I’m often off and on my mind, to broaden my horizon’s quite the time
I’ve been in quite the times the fight with my inside’s been getting easier
My senior year was fine but only at the end
I barely grabbed the pen round then, was more for other instruments
404s and friendships, love can work with innocence
But we working with different shit, they nervous and ignant to their
Own curses, it’s pitiful. I’m splurging on chicken nuggets
I’m buried in sin and woe, tryna feel myself, I’m gettin’ old,
Killin help, the type to manslaughter, caught her in the scope
Thought that she was dope, taught me how to walk
I was raised by New Paltz. Cherry hill’s my soul.
Weeded out, you just needed to sleep on the couch
I'm damn near a tree, I'm chief of chiefing the loud
I reek of reefer clouds
Keeping it key to demons won't help
Been peaking since twelve, I'm seeking top shelf
You're awkward as hell, I'm awkward as well
I'm honored that you stopped in to hear my tale
And it ain't stale, your brain's just trained wrong
I'm about making plain songs, staying on my job
But we can lay a little longer right? it's been a somber night
Let's get the proper vibe, i wanna see you in that thong, that's right
But i'll just hop on and push with my left foot
We on point, then we less good, yeah
That's what i be on, but i'm still blessed dude
We about being out, meeting pals
If you vibe, be around, we around, so be around
We about being out, seeing clouds
If you vibe, be around, we around, so be around
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6. |
Walk Forever
02:09
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It's only midnight, I'm not tired yet
It's hard to sit tight, pondering life and death
Helped my niggas fly but i'm no pilot
Still stuck in the sky, staring at the vast sea of my history
Mama said take out that trash
But i'm too busy digging through it, tryna find more treasures
Living lucid, minding my old lessons
Is it love if i miss every one of my exes? or is it stupid
Sentimental and i hate to let it make my head spin
Living legend, greater when i spread my effect
Looked at the crazy paths behind me, see em all connected
Listened to the herd and heard a faulty message
Yeah, listened to the herd and heard a faulty message
Looked at the hazy pasts behind me, see em all connected
You saw the writing on the wall, but gave no call or text to a friend
Don't be surprised when my smile's gone in seconds seeing you
i just be like you don't ever owe me a thing
I miss naomie and brandon, no it ain't dumbing the brain
I use feelings to numb the pain
Hope you don't call me insane, that would mean you don't understand it
Missing my homies on brand i guess, i put that on my band tape
Jams from back then on my mind every damn day
Never wanted to rely on you, so i'mma stay inside
Keep an eye on my iPhone in case you save my life
'Cause i'm sentimental and i let it make my head spin,
Living legend, greater when i spread my effect
Looked at the crazy pasts behind me, see em all connected
Listened to the herd and heard a faulty message
Listened to the herd and heard a faulty message
You and i had to travel far, but no one walks forever
I was ready at the start to stop and marvel the weather
You got much better than your youth, was never hard to be with you though
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7. |
Sleepy
01:58
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Nightmares where i die, and they're getting pretty nice
It's getting less frightening
Don't tell me to deal with my shit unless we have the money
I love advice, but most my life this shit requires money
I used to drive, the whole time, i had to deal with money
It almost killed me, so now they need more
Racing thoughts are taking off, tryna break my heart
Making paper's hard, my lady's gone,
And I'm very often afraid to wrong, angry and sad lately
Art's the only aid i feel i have, tryna scab these scars
Nightmares where i die, and they're getting pretty nice
It's getting less frightening
(Love being alone in my head but it's lonely here. No one can hear!)
I don't need a beat, I need a point
Often write my bars before i even make a noise
Past me is far, I've been envious of that joy
Since i learned the world isn't the friendliest we could ploy
Sometimes i be done and just pennypinching with words
I don't want a girl it takes my freedom and it hurts
By freedom I am not meaning being with others
Just that i couldn't be homeless, or ugly around her
With my sad face, sharing nightmares where i die
Or how I'm scared to lose her to other guys
The whole world really wants me at my best i guess
No wonder there's no one to go to when i'm depressed
Nightmares where i die, and they're getting pretty nice
It's getting less frightening
(Love being alone in my head but it's lonely here. No one can hear!)
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8. |
Garfield
01:57
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I be navy blue, in my palm is my payment due
Sorry about my armor, I can be a somber dude regardless of her samba
Wish i had a marmaduke or garfield, but 2020 gave me an omen
Take me as i'm growing, grace be in the moment
I be waiting on the skull and bones to take me from my home
It's like the job's already done, I got no place to go
Old mates are nowhere near where i thought they were
I ain't okay, when you're sad everything differs
Old times ultra-swollen on my mind like blisters
Those are rhymes in my vault, still gold at least that's there
Always been one with passion,
Tired of letting niggas pass while no one wants to match it
Wish that life was like a crash test, but this ain't ever practice
Figured i was weird, can't relate to how the masses think
I wish you were here to help me with this joke we have to take
I wish you were here so i could sorry my past mistakes
I wish you were here
I wish i was there, who else has your hair
Would take the leap of faith, but i'm afraid i'm scared
Doesn't seem too fair that i still ache and care to anyone
It's been many months, and you're still in the air
Wonder if you had the time to realize how i feel
'Cause it's real
I be in my bed, grasping my chest mid-day
Rummaging my head, feeling like my heart's about to break
Partly from the stress from the sacred checks i have to chase
And all these niggas' expects got me hexed as of late
I wish I was there
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9. |
Irish Goodbye
02:28
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I see the years accumulate on the paper pal,
Sorry I ain't chase a job, you know I'm not tryna be a cashier
Just tryna get the cash here, so i can work on greater sounds
Hungry as the africans that god leaves to save themselves
And die after a day or twelve, for trying to survive
Life is heaven and hell, some profit off of life
Medicine helps, to no surprise
Nothing better than the lack of lies though, from staying inside
I learned another lesson
If i'm ever next in the game, they'll be testing, stressing
Betting when i'll be lame, and making shit a contest,
Watching all of my steps, just to fuel the gossip
And prop themselves up, but i am my own shelter
Still tryna rock with fellas, turn my fam to rockefellers
Wonder if i never prodded, ran with acapella
Maybe I'd connect with ya at an earlier level
I guess I'll never know, I just never tried to step on toes
They recognize intention only when they find themselves at fault
Every time presenting my endeavors, it's too cryptical
Niggas don't get it though I'm fixing close to vision
Hopefully it'll be worth it but I see shit's never perfect,
So uncertain what i'm working for
Just might close the curtains so i don't have to explain no more
I lived to die trying.
Changed after realizing they can't see my sky.
They're crossing thoughts on me
Never confirming with me? I'm walking off homie
They're tryna talk on me
Never confirming with me? I'm walking off homie
I let my pen hit my scroll up, for hymns i need to grow
Can't depend on the globe, I just might go evanescence mode
Me and her used to irish goodbye, now i go alone
Whatchu know bout that?
I been solo since the minish cap, a minute before that
So oddly enough, a nigga's not to be touched
Without some heatproof gloves, no see-through love
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10. |
How To Never Cry Again
02:50
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I've been dying inside but can't admit it to doctors
Living so hollow, yet regret is not a hard pill to swallow
It taught me to better
Too bad the farther i go, the more i upset em
Marcielago on the way to the lake
Far as i know, that whole day could be fake
I wonder what you really wanna say to my face
Maybe you're afraid I'mma call out your shit
Called [anon] last night, all that she did
Was judge on what i have, not the bars that i spit
Wondering if i'm tracking to college and shit
When there's still some special days we ain't acknowledge yet
Hung with [anon] last night, all that she did
Was ugly up our past, like the beautiful didn't exist
Tried to tell her why I'm unusual, how cool she was
She just thinks I'm tryin' to woo her and shit
Listen nothing matters, tried to make it
And it gathered into something between the greatest and baddest
Why's it in nature to relish definitions of what could've been better?
You know I dwelled on the worser moments than happiest,
But fuck you if you never heard the Happiest,
Then you walk around like "I wonder what's his current sitch"
No wonder I'm strangers with most niggas from school,
They didn't play by the golden rule, it was more about me than to me
Like i was in a zoo caged, couldn't say a thing to him, too phased
But they never knew my ways, we never discussed
Putting together the trust was causing my head to bust
Who's fake? I know you'd rather talk about me than to my face
So since you've been hating,
when i die at least I'll never cry again, plus you'll get your prize
All i wanted was to be friends with the world
I used to be, now we're not, but maybe then
Uh, Uh,
Kick a flip off the street, might hit a cab
Fuck a cliff, that ain't me, at least i'll travel
Gunpoint's much agony, but it's old fashioned
Yup. who can relate?
Mom might pass, if homeless, life might catch me
I'll fight who, if they win it's no cap
You don't spike my tea, I simply trust that
Show me how to never cry again
Show me how to never cry again, damn
Show me how to never cry again, please
Show me how to never cry again, life
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11. |
Anesthesia
01:58
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"are you talking about suicide, 'don't kill yourself?'"
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12. |
A Lot in Common
01:58
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"Like jesus fucking christ, do you know when you jump out the window and you're, like, fantasizing, like "maybe when i jump out, the pavement turns into, like, a lake or something and i dive into nothingness." how do you know you don't just suddenly come to?"
I had to walk a little more before flying
I am just a child of a hill, call me Zion
Niggas really lorecrafters, crazy good at lying
I'm tired of thinking bout who's close and who's dying
Forgotten friends, I used to always have em with me
I remember enemies, they can't catch my energy
No one resembles me, I think I see some niggas try though
I'm out here alchemizing my woe to gold, so niggas can get close
I used to keep emotions holstered
Now you on the ropes if you ever come through passing that bullshit
Used to let you slide, i was too nice, a nigga needs repulsing
Seems like the only way we're gonna build
Guess my mom is not the only one to criticize when i'm just walking around
Yes, my mind's been lonely, fun to happy's just quite different, I'm the harbinger of a new era
Flex my time in holy wonders, cappers on the front line, but all shook up
Lessons from the poems end up gradually lining up with rhymes so we might not have a lot in common
My thoughts been cooking hotter than a pot of ramen
Maze in my heart, I'm not tryna see world as rotten
Dazed and split apart, I've been searching for some solace,
My phases of art glide, i'm learning how to polish
Recently been feeling darker than my hairy face
Pondering departure, yeah that seems a scary fate, right?
Bet you can relate, everybody in the human race
The only eyes looking at the sky to face time
Following nobody, when i'm tryna reach a lotta people
Following nobody, but I'm tryna reach a lotta people
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13. |
Down
02:32
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Feeling what you're saying
I'm not the type to peel off when the pay in
I pause the sights to breathe all of my pain sometimes
What am i to you if not the same?
I fought a life to view her in these days
Glad i had some room inside her brain
I ask it matters if i soon enough will fade
Guess I'd rather take a boot than feel fake
All my life I've just seen mortals tryna play
Morals run amok, brighter days
And some where i barely see the sun
Life ain't black and white it's metal gun grey
Mad aware my time is up to fate
Number every time i take an L
Like i got a chick to write on every blunt i lay
I don't even roll, but i rap nigga,
I don't put the mic away
If you day one, damn right your homies hyped you stayed
Damn right your homies hyped you stayed
Aye, wait
There's no one i can date without having to pretend I'm great
My self can't emulate
She was a minute maid, wasn't here long enough
We were tryna make lemonade out of the lemons gave
She saw my demonstration, there's demons in the station
She keeps away. Some shit was how I was raised
Most of it mistakes, but really no need to be afraid
We all hate pain, I play no games, but i spar with my brain
All of it's dangerous, but only to me
The only person i hate, only person i need to
I'm down to grow up
I'm down to stop feeling this way
I'm down to get over the old phases, and the old faces
But everything's the same
Yeah I see the changes, but I wish I could change
At least I know my angle
Easy to look over a rainbow
But I'm finding gold tryna hang close
Tryna hang close
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SolaceMusic New Paltz, New York
Solace Bowden.
Born 11/12/99.
Artist since 2012.
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